


on reunions and falling

by dykenance



Category: I'll Give You the Sun - Jandy Nelson
Genre: Conflict Resolution, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Resolved Sexual Tension, Reunions, brian's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21586687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykenance/pseuds/dykenance
Summary: when brian left, neither boy knew how to reach across the barrier of distance and time, didn't know how to fix what they had broken. now they have a chance (aka noah and brian's reunion)
Relationships: Brian Connelly/Noah Sweetwine
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	on reunions and falling

**Author's Note:**

> hey so basically i wrote this months ago after i read the book, and i really wanted to post something, so here! hope you enjoy

Noah Sweetwine is right in front of me. Finally. Living, breathing, waiting.

Maybe he never left.

All the times that he made me feel truly alive, like he lit the spark for everything hungry and longing in me, tumbleweed through my mind until it’s like someone grabbed my guts and never let go.

They haven’t let go, haven’t let me breathe, in forever.

But now, now that I can see him and he’s waiting for me just like he has every day of these two years, every cell in my body is willing me forward and I want to grab him like I did all that time ago, hit rewind, and press play, over and over and over (not that I haven’t from afar).

I see him, and the sunlight drifting through the trees that he loves is shining on him like he owns it, like he’s commanded his universe’s attention. For a moment, I can see a younger Noah looking at me like he never wants to stop, dark eyes wandering to mine and holding me captive, long, needy fingers doing everything to help him—

He still looks at me like that. Jesus.

The corner of my mouth lifts, communicating a silent ‘Stare much?’ He smiles back before shifting his gaze to the ground.

“Your hair’s growing back,” he says to my feet.

I grin. “Speaking of hair.” Almost all of the locks I once entwined my fingers in are gone, sprouting out of his head just slightly more than a buzz cut.

He nods. “Track. Hair kept getting in my face.”

I raise my eyebrow, never once expecting Noah ‘Picasso’ Sweetwine to take up sports. I guess I’ve still got a lot to learn. 

And there’s a lot to say. The words are building between us, unspoken apologies and things we were never bold enough to admit tangling like vines between us. Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin. ‘Hey, I came out, I’m not afraid of you anymore’? ‘I’d give all ten too’? ‘I love you’?

As I’m reeling, praying that he’ll forgive me for my one moment of silence ever, he blurts out, “I’m sorry. You deserved to choose when to say anything, and--and I know I can’t justify it and—“

The invisible bubble in my abdomen pops, deflates, brings back the air that belongs to my lungs. “I’m not mad.”

At that, he lifts his eyes back up to mine. (How people comment on mine when he’s walking around like that, I’ll never know; his skilled, fervent eyes, emulating leaves in the dusk. Beautiful.)

“Really?”

I nod. “Yeah, man. Because of you I could embrace my sexuality without a ‘but’ tacked on the end. Real cool...” I trail off, eyes dancing around everywhere but his face. I use this moment to take in the rest of the changes he’s had. “I shouldn’t have abandoned you. That was really shitty.” He’s even taller than last time, almost looking down at me, all broad shoulders and sharp jawlines. “I needed to be there for you, and I wasn’t, and that’s just...” His chest pushes again his shirt, begging me to rip it off and explore what’s beneath (that might be my own mind at work). Christ, Noah. “I’m sorry.” Back to his face. The ever-curious, ever-open, ever-revolutionary face.

Noah’s eyes dart between mine, melting us together with his mind, effectively vaporizing my concept of space and time and  _ everything _ .

“Water bears can survive in space.” He takes a deep breath, and with that, knocks mine from me--in the best way.

I can finally exhale.

He didn’t lose that charm, that which made me laugh and swoon and want to hide him away from the world so he was all mine. 

I wanted to be selfish.

“I didn’t not get into CSA. I’m still good! And who cares about some school, anyway.” My cheeks prickle my eyes more than I can stand it, and I step closer to him. Closer and closer and closer. “It defined me too much. My...my mother wanted another chance at life, and so does my sister, and so do I. I want to keep going.” 

I want him. 

“And I’ve wanted to fill you in on everything for so long now, I don’t even know what I’m talking about.” He chuckles and fiddles with his fingers, taking a small step back against his tree. I’m nodding, stepping as close as I dare, untangling this barrier between us.

I’m ready, universe. This time, I’m ready.

“Noah.” I circle my fingers around his wrist, pulling him back to me, this boy who I could never get enough of, who  _ waited _ . Waited for too long. I’m going to say it. He has to know, and he has to believe.

This time, it’s he who grabs me, stars and heat and electricity exploding from his touch on my waist.

_ I love you too _ .

I say it just as he did when he kissed me back all those years ago. I say it as I cup his face in my hands, relishing in the happy gasp that falls against my lips, in the smooth skin against my fingertips. I say it when he holds me close with balled fists in my shirt, like he can’t stand to let go, can’t get close enough. I say it as he trails his nails along my back in a way that should be illegal, as my mouth finds his neck and the moan of my name lights a match inside me and sets everything on fire, fire,  _ fire _ .

And I say it when we finally pull away, breath falling in sync, a tangled mess of limbs and wildly unneeded shirts and heat.

“Yeah?” Noah leaves a hand in my hair, twirling a few strands, wrapping me further into him.

I nod, and I keep nodding, cause there’s nothing stopping me and the giggle lighting up his cheeks is only encouraging me to never stop.

“I knew I loved you a long time ago,” he mutters. Then, “We were melting.”

It takes only a moment to draw myself back to what he’s talking about. The feelings I had that night shoot through my nerves, heightening everything I’m experiencing now; I wished, hell,  _ prayed _ , he’d lean against me, to experience having Noah Sweetwine in my arms at least once, to trace my fingers along his face and etch out the constellations. Being that close already stirred up something mad in my stomach—I swear you could hear faint crackling in the air between us.

“That’s for sure.” I allow my hand to explore the skin of his stomach beneath his shirt. “Electric.” I sharply raise my eyebrows on the word.

He smiles. “You’d give all ten?”

“I’d manage,” I mumble the words he met me with so long ago before he crashes back into me like a wave caressing me into its grasp, until I’m drowning in his taste and touch and  _ electricity _ .

If this is drowning, let me fall.


End file.
